Resistance is Futile

I felt it coming on a few weeks ago.  It typically starts around the end of August and carries on through November. It’s like coming up to the top of that first drop on a giant roller coaster.  I know something big is coming, as soon as I crest the top. There is a feeling of weightlessness for a second, then I pick up speed, then the G forces push me back in the seat at the bottom of that first drop, then on for the rest of the ride.  I guess I should define “IT.” It is my season of change.

This time of year is when the most significant changes happen in my life.  Mama died in November of 1991. I went out on my own, job wise in August of 2005. Shelley left in August of 2006. I lost 30 lbs. in September of 2006 and started counseling with Jamie in October 2006. I started my Thought of the Day in October 2008 and wrote one of my most popular pieces, Sandpaper in September 2009. Then in September of 2010, I wrote the first book: The View From A Different Angle.

There was a time when my season of change brought about a lot of uncertainty, anxiety, and sometimes depression, as I was scared of the coming changes. I could feel it start building in July and the anxiousness would grow up to the end of August.  I was letting events of the past set the expectation of something dramatic happening in the present. I saw and felt the shifts start occurring around the third week of August, and they are still going.  I have conflicted feelings about some of the things going on but know the right changes will happen at the right time.  Yes, there is also still some anxiousness and anxiety, but there is also another big difference. 

I shifted my thinking from labeling change as good or bad and just recognizing it as change.  No matter how much I attempt to exert control on the situations, change is going to happen with or without me.  The popular phrase coined by the Star Trek series sums it up, “Resistance is futile.” Rather than resist it, I’ve chosen to embrace it.