Saturday, August 28, 2021

Dialog or Monologue?

Some of my best listening lessons have come with people who do not know the difference between a dialog and a monologue.  You know the ones I mean, The Monologue’ers.

Monologue’ers are all about getting all their words out rather than hearing anything you have to say.  Better yet, you see the conversational timing open to inject some of your words then they step all over you.  Then there is the all-time favorite of them asking you for an opinion then not giving you the opportunity to say it.  They have not quite figured out that dialog is an interactive process between two people rather than rambling on.  The skill of being a Dialog’er means you have found that balance of listening and speaking as opposed to the Monologue’er that mostly just verbally vomits all over the place.  I read the text below some 11 years ago, and it still stays with me.

Listening is a commitment and a compliment.  It is a commitment to understanding how other people feel, how they see the world.  It means putting aside your own prejudices and beliefs, your anxieties, and your self-interest, so you can step behind the other person’s eyes.  You try to look at things from their perspective.  Listening is a compliment because it says to the other person, I care about what’s happening to you, and your life experiences are important.  People usually respond to the compliment of listening by liking and appreciating you.

Challenge yourself to be a little better listener today than you were yesterday.

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