Is it Really That Important
Some of my most heated debates have been when I was trying to prove the point that I was right, and I can tell you there was a price paid on both sides. On my side, a fair amount of my daily allotment of energy was expended. On the other side, a fair amount of energy and good feelings were taken away by the conversation. So what positive result came out of the exchange? The answer is simple: absolutely nothing. I walked away tired, even though my ego felt gratified, and the other person walked away with a little less joy in their life.
There are indeed certain finite, ethical or moral topics where you need to support your position and opinions on the subject, but for the rest of them, is it really that important to be right? Our egos think it is so important that it sometimes stops at nothing to be right. Think about it from the other side though. Have you ever enjoyed being told you were wrong? Survey says – NO! At our very core, we are all fragile. We all have the inherent desire to be heard, wanted, and respected. We want to know we count for something in this world.
We’ve all heard the phrase: “pick your battles.” The problem is we can turn most any conversation into a battle if we allow our ego driven desire to be right lead the charge. I recall a recent conversation where my opinion was different than the person’s opinion. We could both feel the conversation escalating. Pesky ego! They finally said, “I’m not liking the way this conversation is going and I need to get off the phone.” I do recall my ego saying, wait I’m not finished with this conversation, but instead I said ok, and we both said goodbye. I received a note a few minutes later about me trying to prove my point and them trying to prove their point and both of us not “hearing” what the other was saying. That was indeed the case.
Some of my most heated debates have been when I was trying to prove the point that I was right, and I can tell you there was a price paid on both sides. On my side, a fair amount of my daily allotment of energy was expended. On the other side, a fair amount of energy and good feelings were taken away by the conversation. So what positive result came out of the exchange? The answer is simple: absolutely nothing. I walked away tired, even though my ego felt gratified, and the other person walked away with a little less joy in their life.
There are indeed certain finite, ethical or moral topics where you need to support your position and opinions on the subject, but for the rest of them, is it really that important to be right? Our egos think it is so important that it sometimes stops at nothing to be right. Think about it from the other side though. Have you ever enjoyed being told you were wrong? Survey says – NO! At our very core, we are all fragile. We all have the inherent desire to be heard, wanted, and respected. We want to know we count for something in this world.
We’ve all heard the phrase: “pick your battles.” The problem is we can turn most any conversation into a battle if we allow our ego driven desire to be right lead the charge. I recall a recent conversation where my opinion was different than the person’s opinion. We could both feel the conversation escalating. Pesky ego! They finally said, “I’m not liking the way this conversation is going and I need to get off the phone.” I do recall my ego saying, wait I’m not finished with this conversation, but instead I said ok, and we both said goodbye. I received a note a few minutes later about me trying to prove my point and them trying to prove their point and both of us not “hearing” what the other was saying. That was indeed the case.
Sometimes the best outcome for both parties comes with one simple response: OK. Allow the other person to experience the joy of being right. So what if they’re wrong about something. What does it really matter when you get down to it? It doesn’t. So I pose the question. In the grand scheme of life, is it really that important?
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