Say It!

I Still Know What You’re Saying


The majority, 55% to be exact, of what we communicate requires no words. My favorite measure of all time goes as follows: Communication is 7% words, 38% tone, and 55% body language. Most every part of your body is communicating. Your eyes and their position, your brow, smile, crossed or uncrossed legs or arms, positioning in a chair, your posture, distance, and even your breathing is communicating something most all the time. When the words and tone are not in alignment with what the body is saying, one word comes to mind: BUSTED. Their words are saying one thing while the body is calling Bullshit. Those are the very things profilers look for when doing interrogations.

Like the art of listening, learning to read body language takes practice. Again, I have many pages on the science of body language. I learned it by first learning how to read myself. When I am uncomfortable with someone or a conversation, I turn where I am 45 to 90 degrees away (putting distance between us). I also cross my arms, and I look down a lot. No, these are not unique to me, but they are my “tells.” Most people have the same ones but just are not aware here are doing them.

Here is what I also learned about body language. When you speak from the heart, the right words come to you. When the right words come to you, you show it through your body language. The fancy terms are alignment and congruence. With or without words, you are always communicating something. So get “aligned and congrue’ed.”

Rodney - All Sortsa Aligned & Congrue'ed