Gittin My Learn On

Com 102

“I learn the most each day by listening more and saying less.”  – Rodney Williams

In yesterday’s lesson, we discussed the four fundamental components of communication dialog: sender, receiver, message, & feedback.  We also identified the most of important of these four being feedback.  For feedback to occur, a very important event has to happen.  We call it the art of listening. 

I consider listening to be the most important skill in the communication tool kit.  There are two sayings that turned on the light for me on exactly how important the art of listening is to successful communication and relationships.

1.  “Listening is a commitment and a compliment.  It is a commitment to understanding how other people feel, how they see the world.”

      2. “If two people are talking, no one is listening.”

Our own insecurities drive us to think people are not listening to us so we are looking for signs to validate those insecurities.  Being a good listener takes a lot of work.  I have four pages, single-spaced, of notes I reference often.  The title the experts give it is being a Total Listener.  “They” have a fairly long list of things they suggest for total listening.  I have narrowed it down to two very simple techniques: engage, and participate.  Engage with eye contact, face the person, put your “all about me” away, and turn off the damn cell phone.  Participate with validation through paraphrasing what you heard and providing positive body language.  Remember, “Listening is a commitment and a compliment.”