What You Really Mean
Have you ever heard the term metamessage? It means the real message when communicating. Metamessages do not even require actual words or a verbal exchange. It can be inference in an email, responding with silence when someone is speaking to you, or how you react with your body. In fact, I realize I used some metamessages recently.
I asked a friend, “big plans for the weekend?” I was verbally inquiring as to their plans for the weekend but was communicating; you wanna do something with me? I even know why I did it that way as I caught myself after I said it. It was my insecure guy ego. Here’s how it went in my head, “Rodney, if you ask what they have planned and they tell you they are busy, then you don’t run the chance of them saying no and you feeling shot down.” Again, it is the insecurity of being a silly boy.
Intentional or not, we all use metamessages. I aspire and work at being a clear and open communicator; however, I still have silly boy metamessage moments. If you find yourself questioning what someone said or did not say, there is a high degree of likelihood you received a metamessage. Remember my favorite stats, “Communication is 7% words, 38% tone, and 55% body language?” Strive to communicate what you really mean.
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