There is a term in the study of body language called spatial
proxemics. It is how we use distance to
communicate. There are four defined
ranges with close and far sub ranges in each.
Ø
Intimate
Space - The closer and more
intimate, both emotional and physical, we are with people, the closer we allow
them to be to us. The intimate or touch
range is typically 6” to 18”.
Ø
Personal Space
- It ranges from 18” to 4’. It is that
space where you are close enough to talk privately but normally does not
involve touch.
Ø
Social
Space - It is from 4’ to 12’ and
used for interpersonal business or social interaction.
Ø
Public Space
- It varies from 12’ to more than 20’.
Public distance is for formal gatherings like teaching in a classroom or
a group meeting. You will typically see
ranges beyond 20’ used by celebrities and politicians.
I talk often with people about our “circles.” The circles are the places are where people
are in our lives. In my mind, the
intimate circle is very limited to the closest of friends and family. There is just not much room there. I see the personal circle reserved for good
friends and acquaintances. It doesn’t
mean they are not good people, but there is just not an intimate relationship
with them. There are quite a few people
in the social circle. They are the ones
you chat with occasionally at the office or maybe know through only business or
social settings. Again, it does not mean
they are not good people but they are a little farther out than the personal circle. The
public circle is just that. You may say
hello and have a quick conversation but there is no real relationship.
I’m the keeper of my circles and am responsible for placing
people in the right ones. That’s just
healthy for me and everyone in my relational life. Life changes and so do people. With those changes comes the need to move
people to the appropriate circle. There
are some people that I like all up in my grill and others, well, not so
much.
When was the last time up updated your circles?
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