Friday, August 3, 2012

Up In Your Grill


There is a term in the study of body language called spatial proxemics.  It is how we use distance to communicate.  There are four defined ranges with close and far sub ranges in each. 

Ø  Intimate Space - The closer and more intimate, both emotional and physical, we are with people, the closer we allow them to be to us.  The intimate or touch range is typically 6” to 18”. 
Ø  Personal Space - It ranges from 18” to 4’.  It is that space where you are close enough to talk privately but normally does not involve touch. 
Ø  Social Space -   It is from 4’ to 12’ and used for interpersonal business or social interaction. 
Ø  Public Space - It varies from 12’ to more than 20’.  Public distance is for formal gatherings like teaching in a classroom or a group meeting.  You will typically see ranges beyond 20’ used by celebrities and politicians.

I talk often with people about our “circles.”  The circles are the places are where people are in our lives.  In my mind, the intimate circle is very limited to the closest of friends and family.  There is just not much room there.  I see the personal circle reserved for good friends and acquaintances.  It doesn’t mean they are not good people, but there is just not an intimate relationship with them.  There are quite a few people in the social circle.  They are the ones you chat with occasionally at the office or maybe know through only business or social settings.  Again, it does not mean they are not good people but they are a little farther out than the personal circle.   The public circle is just that.  You may say hello and have a quick conversation but there is no real relationship.

I’m the keeper of my circles and am responsible for placing people in the right ones.  That’s just healthy for me and everyone in my relational life.  Life changes and so do people.  With those changes comes the need to move people to the appropriate circle.  There are some people that I like all up in my grill and others, well, not so much. 

When was the last time up updated your circles?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Occupancy Limit

Occupancy limit signs are all over the place: bars, restaurants, cruise ships, buses, etc.    The signs convey the number of people who ca...