Criteria

I walk into a car dealership and announce: “I have $25,000 to spend on a car. I don’t care the model, color, or options. I just want $25,000 worth of car.” There would be a stampede of sales people trying to get to me, and they would being thinking, we finally get to move that line green mini-van with the plaid interior that has been on the lot for 10 months. What is the likelihood you would ever go into a dealership and do that very thing? I would say zero to none. You will take time to select the color, the options, your budget, etc.

 

Too often, people put about the same amount of effort/thought for the selection process for life connections. We allow people to connect with us at the closest levels without knowing much about them only to find they are toxic or an energy vampire. Everything is about them, and they drain our good energy then move on. 

 

I visualize life connections like concentric circles radiating out. There is a finite amount of space at each circular level, and boundaries are required to set the levels. The first and most important one is the inner-circle. The inner-circle is very small like a dining table. It is reserved only for those that love you without question, know you at your core, are trusted, share the best energy, and provide positive influence. They help us grow on all levels, and we do the same with them. Goodness and love radiate from the inner-circle. 

 

The circles beyond the inner-circle and those people defined by the boundaries. There is no other way to say it other than people must earn the right to connect at the inner -circle level. Allowing everyone to connect at that level will leave you feeling emotionally drained, and tired all the time. Not everyone can be your best friend nor can you be the best friend to them. 

 

How do you define your circles and who gets to be at which one? Do you have only one circle? If everyone is at your table, I contend you have a lot of unrest and turmoil in your life. The challenge with everyone being at the table is you can get the good ones mixed with the toxic ones. It’s back to setting the appropriate boundaries. If you feel out of sorts, look at your inner-circle and the criteria for those people. Table resets are a good thing and will keep the balance in your life.