Here is your term for the day, metamessage. A metamessage is the real message which occurs when communicating. If fact, they do not even require actual words or a verbal exchange. Metamessages can be inference in an email, responding with silence when someone is speaking to you, or how you react with your body. I know I’ve used them and will again, I’m sure.
A common one I’ve caught myself using is asking someone, do you have big plans for the weekend? It is a verbal inquiry regarding their plans but in my mind, I am/was communicating, you want do something with me? I know why I did it that way as I caught myself after I said it. Here’s how it went in my head; Rodney, if you ask what they have planned and they tell you they are busy, then you don’t run the risk of them saying no and feeling shot down. It’s just that insecurity we all have that rears its head sometimes.
Intentional or not, we all use metamessages. I aspire and work at being a clear and open communicator; however, I still have silly boy metamessage moments. If you find yourself questioning what someone said or did not say, there is a high degree of likelihood you received a metamessage. One of my favorite phrases sums it all up, Communication is 7% words, 38% tone, and 55% body language. Strive to communicate what you really mean and skip the annoying metamessages.
No comments:
Post a Comment