Hi All,
First, I have a quick announcement.
Congrats to my nephew PFC Shayne Bofinger, USMC - I Graduated MCT today. Out of 394 Marines, I was awarded "The Gung Ho Award". The citation is as follows: "During the period of 23 February 2010 to 23 March 2010 while serving as a student, Hotel Company, Marine Combat Training Battalion, and Shayne D. Bofinger consistently performed his duties in an exemplary and highly professional manner. His motivation, enthusiasm, and unselfishness caused his peers to select him as the Marine they would most like to serve with again. As such, he has been awarded the “Gung Ho Award” for Hotel Company. His professionalism and dedication to duty reflected credit upon himself and were in keeping with the highest traditions of the United States Marines Corps.
And now for today's feature presentation: Your Space.
Your Space
“Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.” - Thomas Moore
I had a friend ask me last week about Jamie. “Would you mind if I called Jamie? I don’t want to get in your space, but I like the things you say about her when you write.” I told them I would be happy to give them Jamie’s contact info. Jamie changes lives. That’s just what happens when she gets in your space.
After the text they sent me, the idea of my space started rolling around in my head a little. I was thinking along the lines of how the definition of “my space” has changed over the years. I remembered writing a thought last year called, The Perimeter. It was about the science of Proxemics or spatial relationships as they relate to body language and communication. Here is a quick review of spatial relationships.
In the study of body language, space is referred to as spatial relationship or Proxemics. The term was coined by anthropologist Howard T. Hall in 1966. Here’s my interpretation of spatial relationships.
Spatial Relationships (Proxemics) – The concept of using space to communicate. Space is defined as the distance between people and surroundings. Spatial relationship can be further defined into four zones and distance ranges.
Zone One – .5’ to 1.5’ - Intimate Distance - This zone is for lovers, very close friends, and children. It’s the “I want you as close as I can get to you” range. We feel totally safe in zone one.
Zone Two – 1.5’ to 4’ - Personal Distance – This zone is for talking at a party. You can lean in to listen but have the security of stepping out to the 4’ range if you do not want to be touched. A level of “connectedness” and comfort exists in zone two.
Zone Three – 4’ to 12’ Social Distance – This zone is used for interpersonal business like talking to a client or service person in the 4’ to 7’ range. The 7’ to 12’ range is for formal business or social interaction.
Zone Four – 12’ to 25’ Public Distance – This zone is used for informal gatherings like teaching in a classroom or a group meeting. Going beyond 25’ is typically used by celebrities and politicians.
The zones can vary by culture and gender. Due to a man’s silly ego, it’s easier for women to move into a man’s space easier than a man can to a woman’s. Zones can sometimes be ignored when someone is thought of as an object.
When I wrote The Perimeter in April of 2009, I defined “my space” as follows.
“I’ve found as I’ve changed and grown over the last few years, my spatial relationships have shifted significantly. Three years ago, I would say my default range in most circumstances stayed in the zone three/four area. I feel my new default range is in the zone one/two area. I’m still an introvert at heart, but I sure like the feel and energy of touch, a good hug, and a smile. It still gets back to one simple phrase: “I want what you have.” Good energy likes good energy.”
11 months later, I can say that my space has changed again. I’m finding that I become more comfortable and spend more time in zone one these days. I like people in my space, and they like being in my space as I project that it’s ok for them to be there. The closer you get to me the more I feel your energy and can connect with you. Conversely, you feel me too and want the connection. Don’t get me wrong, I still employ the other zones depending on my environment and the situation, but I am finding that I like being in zone one:“I want you as close as I can get to you.”
So how do you define “your space?”
Rodney - If You're Reading This TOD, I'm In Your Space
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