Available
There is a home by my house with a realtor’s sign out front that says Available. It does not tell me what it is available for though. Is it for lease, for sale, for free, for what? The sign does not give me enough information to know what available really means. Logic would dictate it is either for sale or lease, but I cannot know for certain until I call the number and ask the question. What does available mean? We all have an available sign. Personally, I think we have at least two signs.
One available sign says if we are physically available to be approached, talked to/with, etc. I believe the physically available sign is projected through body language. Once you learn how to read body language, it is easy to tell if someone wants or does not want to be approached. I find this one to be the easiest to read. You can typically tell by the first look or body positioning if someone wants to be approached. For the silly boys, a girl smiling at you once does not mean she wants to spend the next few hours with you.
The second sign is typically harder to read as it takes some interaction and dialog to get the answer. The second sign is: are you emotionally available? This sign is more complex as you can get conflicting information. I recall getting asked at the Ren Fest several years back right after Shelley and I had split. It was a simple question. This girl just asked: “Are you available?” It took me a little bit, but I said yes I am. Then she asked the real question: “Are you emotionally available?” I smiled and just said no I’m not. That was the very first time I had ever been asked that question, and I can tell you that it was both awkward and refreshing to be able to answer it.
If you see someone crying or with their head in their hands, human nature would dictate you want to help them. In actuality, they may want to be left alone for a bit. Emotional availability also cycles a lot based on my experiences. As I have learned to “feel” more, I notice that I cycle emotionally a little more. The operative word in the last sentence is “feel”. I know the difference now and know what is going on. This is nothing new to those close to me, but I know I sometimes emotionally detach when I get overwhelmed by life, am sad about something, or upset. That’s when you see me take off on the Harley. I get the questions a lot of “take me riding with you…why do you ride by yourself sometimes?” The Harley helps me cope and review my emotional availability sign. Sure I like enjoy the heck out of having someone on the back, but I also know when I do not want company as I am processing and working through things in my head. So for those on the list that ask about riding and I sometimes say no, it’s not personal. It just means I need some time to “read my sign” a little.
Do you project availability or give someone the emotional stiff-arm when they to get try go closer to you? Think about that one for a minute. So are you available?
Rodney - Trying to Read My Own Sign
There is a home by my house with a realtor’s sign out front that says Available. It does not tell me what it is available for though. Is it for lease, for sale, for free, for what? The sign does not give me enough information to know what available really means. Logic would dictate it is either for sale or lease, but I cannot know for certain until I call the number and ask the question. What does available mean? We all have an available sign. Personally, I think we have at least two signs.
One available sign says if we are physically available to be approached, talked to/with, etc. I believe the physically available sign is projected through body language. Once you learn how to read body language, it is easy to tell if someone wants or does not want to be approached. I find this one to be the easiest to read. You can typically tell by the first look or body positioning if someone wants to be approached. For the silly boys, a girl smiling at you once does not mean she wants to spend the next few hours with you.
The second sign is typically harder to read as it takes some interaction and dialog to get the answer. The second sign is: are you emotionally available? This sign is more complex as you can get conflicting information. I recall getting asked at the Ren Fest several years back right after Shelley and I had split. It was a simple question. This girl just asked: “Are you available?” It took me a little bit, but I said yes I am. Then she asked the real question: “Are you emotionally available?” I smiled and just said no I’m not. That was the very first time I had ever been asked that question, and I can tell you that it was both awkward and refreshing to be able to answer it.
If you see someone crying or with their head in their hands, human nature would dictate you want to help them. In actuality, they may want to be left alone for a bit. Emotional availability also cycles a lot based on my experiences. As I have learned to “feel” more, I notice that I cycle emotionally a little more. The operative word in the last sentence is “feel”. I know the difference now and know what is going on. This is nothing new to those close to me, but I know I sometimes emotionally detach when I get overwhelmed by life, am sad about something, or upset. That’s when you see me take off on the Harley. I get the questions a lot of “take me riding with you…why do you ride by yourself sometimes?” The Harley helps me cope and review my emotional availability sign. Sure I like enjoy the heck out of having someone on the back, but I also know when I do not want company as I am processing and working through things in my head. So for those on the list that ask about riding and I sometimes say no, it’s not personal. It just means I need some time to “read my sign” a little.
Do you project availability or give someone the emotional stiff-arm when they to get try go closer to you? Think about that one for a minute. So are you available?
Rodney - Trying to Read My Own Sign
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