Commitment
Isn’t it ironic how quick some people jump into commitment, relationship wise, with another person yet totally avoid or never commit to themselves? They, I used to be one of them, are known as the pleasers, fixers, problem solvers, or even the dreaded “enabler.” In my case, I mastered the art of fixing and solving problems for the majority of my life. In retrospect, it was a coping mechanism for me, as I was not committed to Rodney. If I was always out problem solving and helping others, I did not have to think about my insecurities, my internal struggles, and “me.” For many years, I knew something was missing as I felt it inside but could not put my finger on it until I started committing to myself.
Being committed to one’s self has nothing to do with narcissism or arrogance. Rather, it has everything to do with knowing who you are and being a complete person. In relationships, two halves do not make a whole yet so many of us spend large portions of our lives trying to please everyone around us and totally ignoring our own needs. Eventually, being the take one for the team person or the martyr will catch up to you. To quote Jamie again, “you deal with it now or it will deal with you later.” I am certainly no life expert or licensed therapist, but Lord knows I have put in enough work and spent enough time with Jamie to understand being committed to me and making me whole just makes my world a so much better place.
Rodney - Committed or Maybe I Should Be
I was told when my husband died that I should "stay busy" and that was how to "get over" my grief. Stupidest advice I've ever gotten. Never take advice from someone who has not lived through a similar thing.
ReplyDeleteoops you said my name. Yes, I'm the enabler in my family. It's really hard to fix yourself....much easier to "think" you're fixin' others.
ReplyDelete