20% Get 80%
I read a quick little fact online about how sometimes 20% of the relationships in our lives end up with 80% of our energy due to them being high maintenance. Please note the term relationship refers to all people in our lives and not just romantic situations. There is a fair amount of truth in the statement. I have done and suspect most everyone reading this note has done the same thing at some point.
We have given more of ourselves to those that do not make a difference or add to our lives than those that do. We have put friends and family on the back burner while we poured effort and energy into situations we knew deep down inside were not right. I’ve seen people stay in abusive relationships thinking they would rather be there than be alone. I’ve seen, and been a participant, people keep trying to make a relationship work with someone that is one way.
Mine was usually based on insecurity, ego, and a desire to please and to be wanted.
Deep down, we know and feel when things are not right with certain people in our life. Our spirit tells us, our boundaries tell us, and our heart tells us yet we still someone get hung up in the one more try game. Walking away is a difficult process. Whether it is physically removing people or emotionally shifting them to another place in our life, it is hard. Many analogies can aid with high maintenance situations in life. Would you invest money in a company where you know the president is embezzling the investments? Would you fix the transmission in your car if you knew the engine was about to break? I can keep going, but I am sure you see the point. Our goal should be to invest and put energy into the people and relationships that enhance our lives and we enhance theirs. It is about growth in a positive direction on both sides. I am not suggesting you drop someone at the first sign of an issue, but if you see a pattern repeating, it might be time to take your 80% and move on.
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