Dialog or Monologue

I find some of my best “listening lessons” have come with people that do not know the difference between a monologue and a dialog.  You know the ones I mean.  They are what I call, The Monologue’ers.

Monologue’ers are all about getting all their “words” than hearing anything you have to say.  Better yet, you see the conversational timing open to inject some of your “words” then they step all over you.  Then there is the all time favorite of them asking you what you think or for an opinion then not giving you the opportunity to say it.  They have not quite figured out that dialog is an interactive process between two people and not just them rambling on.  The skill of being a Dialog’er means you have found, we most of the time, that balance of listening and speaking as opposed to the Monologue’er that mostly just verbally vomits all over the place. 

There are times I am a Monologue’er, but I work hard at being more of a Dialog’er.  The following verbiage helps keep me focused on the fine art of listening.

“Listening is a commitment and a compliment.  It is a commitment to understanding how other people feel, how they see the world.  It means putting aside your own prejudices and beliefs, your anxieties and self-interest, so that you can step behind the other person’s eyes.  You try to look at things from his or her perspective.  Listening is a compliment because it says to the other person I care about what’s happening to you, your life and your experience are important.  People usually respond to the compliment of listening by liking and appreciating you.”