In the study of body language, there is a term called spatial proxemics or as I call them, the circles. It is how we use distance to communicate. There are four defined spaces with close and far sub ranges in each.
• Intimate Space - The closer and more intimate, both emotional and physical, we are with people, the closer we allow them to be to us. The intimate or touch range is from 6” to 18”.
• Personal Space - It is the space where you are close enough to talk privately but normally does not involve touch. The ranges vary from 18” to 4’.
• Social Space - The range is from 4’ to 12’ and used for interpersonal business or social interaction.
• Public Space - Public distance is for formal gatherings like teaching in a classroom or a group meeting. The range varies from 12’ to more than 20’.
The circles are a common topic of discussion for me. They are the places where people are in our lives. In my mind, the intimate circle is quite small and limited to the closest of friends and family. I see the personal circle reserved for good friends and acquaintances. As for the social circle, those are the people you chat with occasionally or know through business or social settings. The public circle is just that. You may say hello and have a quick conversation, but there is no real relationship.
I’m the keeper of my circles and am responsible for placing people in the right ones. That’s just healthy for me and everyone in my relational life. Life changes and so do people. With those changes comes the need to move people to the appropriate circle. There are some people that I like all up in my grill and others, well, not so much. When was the last time up updated your circles?
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