What You Said Vs. What You Really Said
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." – Walt Disney
Communication is 7% words, 38% tonality, and 55% body language. That statistics phrase is one of my favorites, and I use it often. You all know that my preferred form of communication is face-to-face. I wanna hear and see everything you are communicating to me.
There are lots of people out there that believe themselves to be great communicators as they have a great command of the English language. The words are important but not as important as the body language and tone behind them. Those two components are what give the power to the words. The 93% made up of tone and body language (the emotion) is where the real communication happens. The control center of our communication ability is our unconscious mind. Your conscious mind may direct you with the words, but the real message comes out through the tone and body language. When your words conflict with your body language and tone, people pick up on it. They key in on the tone and body language as the real communication and discount the words.
We all have someone, if we’re lucky - multiple someone(s), that we are “in tune” with. They are the people that know what we are thinking just by looking at us. They are also the ones we “feel” in the universe and just know when something is a little off kilter. Richard and I are that way. We finish each other’s sentences, we know just by body language what is going on. We are in tune. There is an actual term for the process of getting in tune with people. It’s called rapport.
One definition refers to rapport as “…a feature of unconscious human connection…the commonality of perspective…” Rapport is developed through learning to read each other’s body language, eye contact to see what is really going on beyond the eyes, and even to go so far is to sync your breathing rhythm. For instance, I know when Richard is about done drinking beer as he holds the bottle a little different. Those little subtle things just come from being in tune.
You can develop a rapport with anyone, but it takes time. You have to have the desire to put the work in to learn that level of communication. I can tell you though that it is SO worth it. To be able to see what someone is communicating with you just by the position of the lips or maybe body positioning, is a wonderful feeling. I recommend it highly.
Action Item – There are many sights on the web that discuss communications in terms of tone and body language. There are a number of pages in my notes on the subject too. I also have some books I can suggest for those that are interested. Become a better communicator. It helps us all.
POSITIVE HEADLINE NEWS
Git Um
Looks like Lance is making some moves in the Tour this year. He moved up six places to now be in third. Keep it up Mr. Armstrong.
Guest Spot
I’ve received feedback from a couple of people about being the guest author for the TOD. Be on the lookout for some new stories soon.
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." – Walt Disney
Communication is 7% words, 38% tonality, and 55% body language. That statistics phrase is one of my favorites, and I use it often. You all know that my preferred form of communication is face-to-face. I wanna hear and see everything you are communicating to me.
There are lots of people out there that believe themselves to be great communicators as they have a great command of the English language. The words are important but not as important as the body language and tone behind them. Those two components are what give the power to the words. The 93% made up of tone and body language (the emotion) is where the real communication happens. The control center of our communication ability is our unconscious mind. Your conscious mind may direct you with the words, but the real message comes out through the tone and body language. When your words conflict with your body language and tone, people pick up on it. They key in on the tone and body language as the real communication and discount the words.
We all have someone, if we’re lucky - multiple someone(s), that we are “in tune” with. They are the people that know what we are thinking just by looking at us. They are also the ones we “feel” in the universe and just know when something is a little off kilter. Richard and I are that way. We finish each other’s sentences, we know just by body language what is going on. We are in tune. There is an actual term for the process of getting in tune with people. It’s called rapport.
One definition refers to rapport as “…a feature of unconscious human connection…the commonality of perspective…” Rapport is developed through learning to read each other’s body language, eye contact to see what is really going on beyond the eyes, and even to go so far is to sync your breathing rhythm. For instance, I know when Richard is about done drinking beer as he holds the bottle a little different. Those little subtle things just come from being in tune.
You can develop a rapport with anyone, but it takes time. You have to have the desire to put the work in to learn that level of communication. I can tell you though that it is SO worth it. To be able to see what someone is communicating with you just by the position of the lips or maybe body positioning, is a wonderful feeling. I recommend it highly.
Action Item – There are many sights on the web that discuss communications in terms of tone and body language. There are a number of pages in my notes on the subject too. I also have some books I can suggest for those that are interested. Become a better communicator. It helps us all.
POSITIVE HEADLINE NEWS
Git Um
Looks like Lance is making some moves in the Tour this year. He moved up six places to now be in third. Keep it up Mr. Armstrong.
Guest Spot
I’ve received feedback from a couple of people about being the guest author for the TOD. Be on the lookout for some new stories soon.
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