Approachable

I can’t go talk to him/her. He/she might not talk back.  I can’t ask her out. She might say no.  If I ask the boss for a raise, he might say no, and I don’t want to be let down.  Do the previous comments sound familiar?  Well, they should, as I would be a large stack of 20s that we all have uttered those words at some point. Looking back to when I said them, I assumed someone would be unapproachable rather than assuming approachable.  Think about it for a minute.  With any of those questions, there is a 50% chance that someone will or won’t talk to me, will or won’t go out with me, or the boss will or won’t give me a raise.  Yet the dominant thinking is the downside.  We expect the worst as a type of defense mechanism to cushion the blow should things go in a less than favorable direction.  If we think less than favorable results, than that is what we will get as we project those feelings.  Since the odds are 50/50, why not choose to lean in your favor rather than the other way: Approachable.